


Get Rekt

by IsisKitsune



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bottom Wade Wilson, Consensual Sex, Hulk Sex (Marvel), Impossible Sex, M/M, Masochism, No Strings Attached, Oral Sex, Propositions, Rough Sex, Size Difference, Size Kink, Wade's a pain slut and has no problem bottoming for hulk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:02:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22489876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsisKitsune/pseuds/IsisKitsune
Summary: "Bruce is adorkable and deserves some good old fashion lovin'. Don't @ me!"[I hear that, plus just think of all that delicious giant-]{Shut your mouth, this is the summary not the good stuff!}"I still agree with [] about this... Bruce is an adorable cutey that should get all the lovin' on he wants."{And when you end up with a colostomy bag, I'm totally saying "I told you so"}"Eh, I'll heal, and get a good hard- hulk level dicking while I'm at it."
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Wade Wilson, Hulk/Wade Wilson
Kudos: 81





	Get Rekt

Deadpool was being a sneaky bastard, well, if it weren't for his own little theme song he might have been humming while sneaking around the Avenger's Tower. He caught sight of someone, head down, staring through what seemed to be a microscope. He whistled, “What are you up to, cutey?”

The man barely even looked up, just sighed, “Aren't you banned from the Tower, Wade?”

“Banned just means you gotta be sneakier.”

That actually got an eye roll, “Why are you here this time?”

“Well, I was going to see if Clint wanted to grab a beer, maybe scratch some itches, but it seems he's away on some hush hush mission... so I got bored.”

“You seem to do that a lot.”

“Well, when you got forever and a bunch of cats hissing at each other in your head, it happens a lot. So, you up for a little itch scratching?” That got a laugh, “You're even cuter when you laugh.”

“Wade, that's not possible.”

“Anything is possible with me,” Wade was grinning behind his mask.

“You know who I am, right?”

“An adorable, smart, cutey that looks like he hasn't had a good scratching in a long time.”

“Right, you probably don't run into me often, probably see the Other Guy more than me. I'm Dr. Bruce Banner. Have you put it together why there's no chance of 'scratching' happening any time soon?”

“Nope,” Wade bounced up onto the counter, wincing when he landed on something and tugged an implement of some kind out from under it before tossing it away.

“Alright, I'll put it bluntly for you, Internal damage, a lot of it...”

“Oh, honey, I've literally been torn in half, not in the fun way, in the phone book kinda way.”

Bruce actually winced, “You're a masochist aren't you?”

“Weeeell, you seeee- When there's not much that can put you down and even less that keeps you that way, it opens a whole new world of possibilities.” Wade shrugged, “The best part, you get to do a bit of scratching too, if you want to I mean.”

Bruce's head dropped forward, his hands coming up making Wade bounce, knowing that pose as he pulled off his glasses. 'Lord forgive me for what I'm about to do,' whispering in his mind as he giggled as the cutey put his glasses aside, “Follow me.”

Wade was bouncing as he followed the cutey through the halls, blinking at the overly reinforced door, “Oooo, you got a play room?”

“The Other Guy has a playroom,” Bruce mumbled as he set up and locked the door. “So, how are-” He blinked when Wade literally slid up to him on his knees and batted his eyes at him. “That's, not going to happen...”

“Come on, I can take it.”

“I don't want to- remember the feeling of your jaw getting wrenched apart.”

Wade actually winced, “Yeah, I guess that would be a turn off.”

Bruce walked away to pat a table, “Well?”

“Fuck yeah,” Wade scrambled over to jump up and wiggle his ass while Bruce shook his head, smirking, “What? Oh, clothes, um, might be best to keep most of that on, for me I mean, you feel free to be as all natural as you want.” Bruce chuckled and rolled his eyes as he sank to his knees and patted the table again. “Oooooh, gotchya, okay, just, don't be freaked out about, um texture.” Bruce just smirked wider, raising a brow as he patted a little harder. “Alright, just thought I'd warn you,” Wade slid over, “Order up?”

Bruce chuckled as he reached up to tug at the zipper. “Don't worry, I'll, make sure to pull away before any teeth get involved.”

“Fuck, did I say I had a problem with teeth? I don't remember saying that.”

“Might not have, but you'll thank me later.”

Wade moaned when those lips slid down him, “Fuck, Doc, if this is on my account, I'm gonna get off either way, you don't gotta-”

Bruce pulled back, “Shut up an enjoy it, Deadpool, I haven't had a nice thick cock in my mouth for years...”

“Fuck, enjoy it all you want then, Jesus, didn't know they gave out PhD's in cock sucking.”

[God, what I wouldn't give to just tangle fingers in that curly hair and just-]

“Rude, you don't face fuck anybody without prior consent and signals.”

Bruce hummed as he blinked up at him, his eyes a little hazy but otherwise their normal brown as he sucked harder and slid farther forward before pulling back, “Yeah, wouldn't be a good idea with me, but- long while back I'd give you the right sort of green light on that. But guiding hands are allowed.”

{Thank, whoever the fuck watching out for our shitshow that Wade had enough brain cells still working to remember why that's a bad thing}

“Agree with ya full throttle on that,” Wade moaned as he got to tangle a gloved hand into the back of those soft curls, “God, I'mma lose it here, Doc. Do I- do you want a warning?” Bruce hummed and nodded, making Wade shudder when he caught sight of green beginning to creep into those hazed eyes, “Fuck, want me to- before?”

Bruce let out a whine, jaw opening wide and the sudden harsh snap in his shoulders, before he pulled away, “Fuck, out of time.”

Wade shuddered, “We'll- we'll get back to that, after. Want me on my stomach?”

Bruce stumbled and groaned as green started darkening his skin, “Last chance to run.”

Wade just rolled his eyes, turning to shimmy his pants down and spread himself across the table, “Oh, look, I've fallen and I can't get up... Whatever am I to do? Seriously, Doc, I knew what I was in for when I got on my knees for you.”

Wade jolted when one large green hand slammed down beside him, eyes focusing on it as he felt the other slipping up his thigh.

{We're gonna die...}

[BEST WAY TO FUCKING GO!]

“Goddamn right.” Wade shuddered at the rumble as he felt the heat as Hulk leaned over him, “Bring it on, Big Guy. Give it to me.”

{Hope you enjoy diapers, Wade...}

[Eh, he'll be fine in an hour, no matter what happens]

“What the fuck are you two blabbering about?” Wade felt large hands wrap his thighs as he started to turn before he was suddenly pulled backward, then he couldn't get any air into his lungs.

{There goes the entire pelvis... And colon, and half your intestines. Why was this a good idea again?”

[So fucking HUGE-]

Wade finally got out a squeak as the hands shifted to his waist before he finally gasped and moaned when he was lifted and thrust back down, “God, did I just sit on a fire hydrant?”

{No, Hulk is currently using you as a fucking FLESHLIGHT!}

“Oh, right, keep it up Big Guy.”

{That's not the response you have to that!}

[Shut it, I'm trying to enjoy the show]

{Why am _I_ the voice of reason here?!}

“Too busy, being Hulk's fleshlight, shut the fuck up, I'm trying to enjoy it.” Wade gasped out another squeak at the hard slam of skin against unyielding muscle.

{And now you have no pelvis. Great-}

“Pelvis, no pelvis, fuck, I'm gonna get off on this, keep going Big Guy, I'm all good.”

{Wait, um, anyone every think to bring up how much Hulk can let loose?}

[Oh, God, yes, give me all your babies, big green daddy!]

“Fuck, yeah, give it to me Big Guy, stuff me full, show me all you got to offer.” Wade suddenly started scrambling, “Holy fuck!”

[Yes Daddy, fill me up!]

{Well, that's never getting out of there...}

Wade's eyes went unfocused, feeling like someone had opened the main valve of that fire hydrant that had been wedged up his ass. “Holy shit-”

Wade moaned when he finally felt that heated flesh pull out of him, groaning when his left leg wouldn't stop twitching, “Fuck, I'mma have to relocate that ain't I?”

[Worth it!]

Wade shifted onto his back, moaning and laying back at the feeling of fluid gushing and tensing of tender muscles and flesh, “Holy shit... Doooooc, don't tell me the big guy is a 'one and done', was looking forward to a round two!”

[Putting Doctor Banner in our contacts under “Turbo Lover” any objections?]

{SO MANY OBJECTIONS!}

“Last time I checked, Murdock isn't in my head, knock it off with the lawyer speak...”

“Wade?”

“I'm still, post-coitus over here, don't mind me. But cuddles are accepted and appreciated.”

Bruce was looking the bad kind of green as he shifted Wade's legs apart, “You're-”

“I'm all good, Doc, can we make this a regular Friday night thing? Please? Like, seriously, just- if ya wanna go again, pretty sure my ass is gonna take a bit but, just, fuck my mouth all you want. I'm just gonna, tap out for a bit, and I so owe you for that awesome pregame blowjob.”

Bruce rubbed at his eyes, “You're insane...”

“So I've been told, but you still rocked my world so hard I want a prescription for more. Oh no, wait, doctors are supposed to report Rx abuse, shit, I didn't say anything-”

Bruce finally laughed, relaxed open, as he finally climbed up to curl up under the arm held out to him, “Do I wanna know what we're laying in?”

“Memories of the best fuck I've had in a long time,” Wade grinned as he drifted off.


End file.
